HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
a search helicopter?!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
