don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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