they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How naked do you want me to be?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
