i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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