I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
