you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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