the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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