Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
