Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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