found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize