I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize