everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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