...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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