I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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