I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize