Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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