Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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