Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
