Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
