forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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