He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
