I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
