Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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