If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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