My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
