Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
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I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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