I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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