I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
