Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
