So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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