I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
