but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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