i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
accomplished twins. life is a go
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
