they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you inspire me to be a worse person
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
