put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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