I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize