i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
