he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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