At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
