its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
