I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
