I'm going to jail i love you
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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