Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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