The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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