Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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