how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
