I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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