You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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