Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
