The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
