Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize