Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
