so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
