Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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