Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
