You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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