What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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